A Move Gone Wrong...Very, Very Wrong

A guest post by DH (dear hubby) explaining how our move this week went careening off the rails. Literally. In this retelling, the IY is using the code name Betty.

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Buster and Betty Buyer hire Money Movers at an hourly rate to move their furniture and boxes into their new condo.  Money Movers send Larry, Mo, and Curley to do the job.  Unfortunately, due to traffic, the movers show up almost an hour late.  In addition, although the movers assured Buster and Betty that an 18-foot truck would be more than sufficient for the job, Buster and Betty's belongings (which included a few more boxes than they estimated) cannot fit in one truck load, necessitating two truck trips and extra time on the job. Ten hours into the move, which was originally estimated by Money Movers to take six to eight hours, Larry begins having a racing and irregular heart beat.  Buster advises Larry to take a break and begins helping the other two Movers (Mo and Curley) himself to help expedite the process.  Buster checks on Larry after about ten minutes and finds that Larry still has a very  irregular pulse.  Concerned, Buster insists on driving Larry to the emergency room, where Larry is immediately admitted to the hospital. 

Buster returns from the ER to the new condo to find Mo and Curley attempting to move Buster and Betty's couch, the last item to come off the truck on the second load, up the stairs.  Unfortunately, the couch can't make the turn at the top of the stairs, and Mo and Curley decide that it must instead be hoisted into the condo.  Since the hoist requires three movers, Mo and Curley call in Schemp (also a Money Movers employee) to assist.  Because there is no clear path to hoist the couch directly into the new condo, which is the upper unit of two units in the building, Buster asks Nice Neighbors who live in the downstairs unit to allow access to their back porch, where the Movers will first hoist the couch before, in turn, hoisting it from Nice Neighbors' porch to Buster and Betty's porch above.  (The two porches are terraced.)  Nice Neighbors agree to allow access to their porch for the hoist.  It is 8:30 pm, dark outside, and, after holding of all day, now raining.

The Movers wrap the couch in the hoist bands, and Mo and Curley go to the Neighbors' porch, which is on the second floor of the building, to perform the hoist, leaving Schemp on the ground to guide the couch from below.  Buster watches the operation from his porch on the third floor of the building.  Before the Movers begin the hoist, Buster asks whether he should move his brand new car, which is parked directly below the area of the hoist.  The Movers insist that this is unnecessary over Buster's desperate pleas, and Movers begin the hoist.  With the couch in mid air, and Mo and Curley pulling the couch up, the railing to Nice Neighbors' porch gives way.  Mo and Curley, whose bodies are physically strapped to the couch are pulled off the porch.  Schemp dives for cover under Nice Neighbors porch and is unharmed, as the couch plummets to the ground, pulling Mo and Curley behind it.  Mo, who is a trained ninja and hopped up on Tylenol with codeine, grabs onto an intact porch post and swings to a soft landing on his feet.  Unfortunately, Curley falls less gracefully and lands on Buster and Betty's car, caving in the roof of the car and injuring Curley.  The railing of Nice Neighbors' porch, which was not secured properly in construction by Crappy Contractor, follows Mo and Curley down, smashing in the rear window of Buster and Betty's car.  The couch is damaged upon impact with the ground.

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Yeah...so that's the long and the short of it, I'm afraid. Now, two days later, I can tell you that Larry's safely out of the hospital and Mo, Curley, and Shemp appear to be (miraculously) unharmed. The couch is still on the back of the truck. We may just donate it and buy a sectional. Or miniature couch. Or do without a couch. I know moving is never easy, but this??! COME ON!!