A guest post by DH (dear hubby) explaining how our move this week went careening off the rails. Literally. In this retelling, the IY is using the code name Betty.
*
Buster and Betty Buyer hire Money Movers at an
hourly rate to move their furniture and boxes into their new
condo. Money Movers send Larry, Mo, and Curley to do the job.
Unfortunately, due to traffic, the movers show up almost an
hour late. In addition, although the movers assured Buster and Betty
that an 18-foot truck would be more than sufficient for the job, Buster
and Betty's belongings (which included a few more boxes than they estimated)
cannot fit in one truck load, necessitating
two truck trips and extra time on the job. Ten hours into the move,
which was originally estimated by Money Movers to take six to eight
hours, Larry begins having a racing and irregular heart beat. Buster
advises Larry to take a break and begins helping
the other two Movers (Mo and Curley) himself to help expedite the
process. Buster checks on Larry after about ten minutes and finds that
Larry still has a very irregular pulse. Concerned, Buster insists on
driving Larry to the emergency room, where Larry
is immediately admitted to the hospital.
Buster returns from the ER to the new condo to find
Mo and Curley attempting to move Buster and Betty's couch, the last
item to come off the truck on the second load, up the stairs.
Unfortunately, the couch can't make the turn at the top
of the stairs, and Mo and Curley decide that it must instead be hoisted
into the condo. Since the hoist requires three movers, Mo and Curley
call in Schemp (also a Money Movers employee) to assist. Because there
is no clear path to hoist the couch directly
into the new condo, which is the upper unit of two units in the
building, Buster asks Nice Neighbors who live in the downstairs unit to
allow access to their back porch, where the Movers will first hoist the
couch before, in turn, hoisting it from Nice Neighbors'
porch to Buster and Betty's porch above. (The two porches are
terraced.) Nice Neighbors agree to allow access to their porch for the
hoist. It is 8:30 pm, dark outside, and, after holding of all day, now
raining.
The Movers wrap the couch in the hoist bands, and
Mo and Curley go to the Neighbors' porch, which is on the second floor
of the building, to perform the hoist, leaving Schemp on the ground to
guide the couch from below. Buster watches
the operation from his porch on the third floor of the building.
Before the Movers begin the hoist, Buster asks whether he should move
his brand new car, which is parked directly below the area of the
hoist. The Movers insist that this is unnecessary over
Buster's desperate pleas, and Movers begin the hoist. With the couch
in mid air, and Mo and Curley pulling the couch up, the railing to Nice
Neighbors' porch gives way. Mo and Curley, whose bodies are physically
strapped to the couch are pulled off the porch.
Schemp dives for cover under Nice Neighbors porch and is unharmed, as
the couch plummets to the ground, pulling Mo and Curley behind it. Mo,
who is a trained ninja and hopped up on Tylenol with codeine, grabs onto
an intact porch post and swings to a soft
landing on his feet. Unfortunately, Curley falls less gracefully and
lands on Buster and Betty's car, caving in the roof of the car and
injuring Curley. The railing of Nice Neighbors' porch, which was not
secured properly in construction by Crappy Contractor,
follows Mo and Curley down, smashing in the rear window of Buster and
Betty's car. The couch is damaged upon impact with the ground.
*
Yeah...so that's the long and the short of it, I'm afraid. Now, two days later, I can tell you that Larry's safely out of the hospital and Mo, Curley, and Shemp appear to be (miraculously) unharmed. The couch is still on the back of the truck. We may just donate it and buy a sectional. Or miniature couch. Or do without a couch. I know moving is never easy, but this??! COME ON!!